For most people, the thought of dying or caring for a terminally ill friend or family member raises fears and questions as old as humanity: What is a "good death"? What appropriate preparations should be made? How do we best support our loved ones as life draws to its close? In this nondenominational handbook, Richard F. Groves and Henriette Anne Klauser provide comfort, direction, and hope to the dying and their caregivers through nine archetypal stories that illustrate the most common end-of-life concerns. Drawing from personal experiences, the authors offer invaluable guidance on easing emotional pain and navigating this difficult final passage. With a compelling new preface, this edition also features an overview of the hospice movement; a survey of Celtic, Tibetan, Egyptian, and other historic perspectives on the sacred art of dying; as well as various therapies, techniques, and rituals to alleviate suffering, stimulate reflection, and strengthen interpersonal bonds. The American Book of Living and Dying gives us courage to trust our deepest instincts, and reminds us that by telling the stories of those who have passed, we remember, honor, and continue to learn from them.
RICHARD F. GROVES is the founder of the internationally renowned Sacred Art of Living and Dying educational series, which teaches participants how to alleviate spiritual and emotional distress at the end of life. A hospice chaplain for nearly thirty years, Richard has attended the deaths of more than five hundred people. He speaks nine languages and has earned graduate degrees in theology, ethics, law, and pastoral counseling. Richard and his wife, Mary, established the Sacred Art of Living Center in Bend, Oregon, twenty-five years ago, where he still resides today.HENRIETTE ANNE KLAUSER, Ph.D., is the author of four books, including the best-selling Writing on Both Sides of the Brain and Write It Down, Make It Happen. She is the president of Writing Resources, a seminar and consulting organization, as well as an active lecturer, workshop leader, and freelance writer. Henriette Anne is dedicated to helping people use the power of the written word to build relationships, bring families together, and heal emotional wounds. She lives in Edmonds, Washington.
CONTENTSPreface to the Paperback Edition - viiiIntroduction - 1Part I. The HistoryHospiceThe Original Hospice: The Art of Dying Well - 13A Vision from the Past: God’s Hotel - 14Our Cultural Bias: Death Is the Enemy - 17Hospice in America: Gift and Challenge - 19Ancient Books of the DeadThe Heritage - 21• Egyptian Book of the Dead: A Greater Light• Celtic Books of the Dead: Spiritual Midwifery• Gnostic Books for the Living and Dying: Bridge between East and West• Tibetan Book of the Dead: Coaching the Soul• Monastic Books of the Dying: Prescriptive CareWhat the Books of the Dead Have in Common: Lessons for Us Today - 34Spiritual PainPain versus Suffering: The Human Condition - 37Diagnosing Spiritual Pain: Asking Courageous Questions - 39Responding to Spiritual Pain: A Psychospiritual Relationship - 42• Meaning Pain: The Painful-Blissful Encounter with the Truth • Forgiveness Pain: The Common Cold of Spiritual Pain • Relatedness Pain: Leaving the Familiar Behind • Hopelessness Pain: Death as HealerBecoming an Anamcara - 55• Ten Commandments for the AnamcaraPart II. The StoriesAnnie: the Perfectionist Will you love me even if I get it wrong? - 63Henry: the Helper Will you love me even if I can’t love you back? - 81Sara: the Achiever Will you love me even if I am not successful? - 95Heather: the Dreamer Will you love me even if you know who I am? - 111Park: the Thinker Will you love me even if I lose everything in life? - 125Maria Elena: the Loyalist Will you love me even if I break the rules? - 143Andrew: the Adventurer Will you love me even if I cry? - 159Dorothy: the Asserter Will you love me even if I am weak? - 175Larry: the Peacemaker Will you love me even if I disagree with you? - 189Story Archetypes - 202Part III. The Tool ChestArt Therapy - 205Breath Work - 209 Coma Therapy - 213Dream Work - 218Energy Therapies - 223Forgiveness Exercises - 227Guided Visualization - 231Healing and Assistance from Ancestors - 236Healing Religious Abuse and Images of God - 240Intercessory (Nonlocal) Prayer - 244Journaling - 248Life Review Exercises - 252Meditation Practices - 257Music Therapy - 262Religious Rites and Sacred Writings - 267Rituals for the Bedside - 270Rituals of Release - 273Vigil Rituals and Rituals for Remembering - 277Bibliography - 285About the Authors - 294
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