The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs

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Leaders, managers, and coaches are charged with getting people to stretch their limits but are often unsuccessful. Top leadership coach Marcia Reynolds says the problem is difficult conversations create more resistance than growth. She offers a model and methods for discovering what to say so people change their own minds. As a result, leaders equip people to find their own solutions.

FORMATPaperback LANGUAGEEnglish CONDITIONBrand New Publisher Description

You want people to stretch their limits, but your conversations meant to help them often fall flat or backfire, creating more resistance than growth. Top leadership coach Marcia Reynolds offers a model for using the Discomfort Zone-the moment when the mind is most open to learning-to prompt people to think through problems, see situations more strategically, and transcend their limitations.Drawing on recent discoveries in the neuroscience of learning, Reynolds shows how to ask the kinds of questions that short-circuit the brain's defense mechanisms and habitual thought patterns. Then, instead of being told, people see for themselves the insightful and often profound solutions to what is stopping their progress. The exercises and case studies will help you use discomfort in your conversations to create lasting changes and an enlivened workforce.You want people to stretch their limits, but your conversations meant to help them often fall flat or backfire, creating more resistance than growth. Top leadership coach Marcia Reynolds offers a model for using the Discomfort Zone-the moment when the mind is most open to learning-to prompt people to think through problems, see situations more strategically, and transcend their limitations.Drawing on recent discoveries in the neuroscience of learning, Reynolds shows how to ask the kinds of questions that short-circuit the brain's defense mechanisms and habitual thought patterns. Then, instead of being told, people see for themselves the insightful and often profound solutions to what is stopping their progress. The exercises and case studies will help you use discomfort in your conversations to create lasting changes and an enlivened workforce.

Author Biography

Marcia Reynolds, PsyD and Master Certified Coach, is president of Covisioning, a leadership training and coaching firm helping organizations unleash the brilliance in their people. She is the author of four books, including Outsmart Your Brain and Wander Woman.

Table of Contents

Introduction: What is Good About Discomfort?1: Criteria for Choosing a Discomfort Zone Conversation2: What Comes First   3: The Map and Milestones for Your Conversation  4: How to Listen for What to Say  5: New Perspective—Using Discomfort Zone Conversations to Breakthrough Barriers6: Transformation—Using Discomfort Zone Conversations to Embrace What's Next7: Strategizing Your Development Plan

Review

"While difficult conversations may be the most dreaded task of any manager, Reynolds (Outsmart Your Brain) maintains that if handled effectively they can lead to greater employee investment and retention. Key to this approach is establishing trust and then progressing to reflective feedback and stimulating questions to help others regard situations more purposefully and grow beyond self-set limitations. The DREAM acronym sums up Reynold's insights: Determine, Reflect, Explore, Acknowledge, and Make sure. In essence, this book serves as a course in active listening for business. VERDICT Learning the skills set forth in this work would be a plus for any leader."—Library Journal"The book offers a number of helpful tips to probe in a tender way and maintain equilibrium in the discomfort zone. The value of such conversations is obvious, and if you want to try helping others through the discomfort zone, the book may be a good place to start."—The Globe and Mail"Exceptionally well organized and presented, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs is as informed and informative as it is thoughtful and thought-provoking. Very highly recommended…"—Midwest Book Review"…even experienced coaches will learn something new."—People Management "This book is for leaders and coaches who want to create breakthroughs with people who are stuck or resisting change."—Talent Grow"This is that book you want to keep close by, to turn to again and again to further your skills with those difficult conversations in the discomfort zone."—Zane Safrit, blogger"Marcia gives real-world, rubber-meets-the-road insights and tactics to make our interactions count."—Vickie Sullivan, blogger"Reynolds provides brilliant, grounded, and pragmatic tools to elevate a coaching conversation to an opportunity for growth."—Kevin Cashman, Senior Partner, Korn Ferry, and author of the best-selling Leadership from the Inside Out and The Pause Principle"As a CEO, my success depends on my ability to coach my team through difficult situations that could hold us back. Dr. Reynolds's book opened my mind, heart, and gut, teaching me how to listen and to truly have breakthrough moments with my team."—Krista Endsley, CEO, Abila"Reynolds is a master at applying her extensive knowledge of the brain to the practical realities of leaders. She brilliantly applies the latest research on behavioral change to help leaders create significant learning moments."—Deb Giffen, Director, Innovative Learning Solutions, Wharton Executive Education"Marcia Reynolds gives leaders the tools they need to go beyond basic coaching. Both provocative and practical, she lays out a framework for getting to the heart of the matter in conversations and includes vibrant case studies to ensure you apply what you learn."—Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD, author of Quiet Influence"This book leaves leaders and coaches no excuse for avoiding difficult is- sues. It's time we all go beyond our comfort zones to do our best work."—Prof. Konstantin Korotov, PhD, Director, Center for Leadership Development Research, European School of Management and Technology, Berlin, Germany"The Discomfort Zone presents valuable techniques to harness friction, break down limiting perspectives, and create shifts in thinking. I learned how to constructively challenge my team by expanding their minds and facilitating growth. You won't seek being comfortable again!"—Bettina Hein, founder and CEO, Pixability"In The Discomfort Zone, Marcia Reynolds clearly describes how leaders can be most effective in communicating and coaching their teams to greater success even in the most stressful situations."—Victor F. Trastek, MD, Emeritus CEO, Mayo Clinic in Arizona, and Associate Director, Professionalism and Leadership, Mayo Clinic"They say leaders make lemonade out of lemons; with The Discomfort Zone, you can turn conflict into career wins!"—Jeffrey Hayzlett, show host, Bloomberg TV; best-selling author of The Mirror Test and Running the Gauntlet; and sometime cowboy"Marcia Reynolds shows us that it is time to quit diffusing difficult conversations and embrace them. She guides us to use our head, heart, and gut to create the learning and growth needed to foster an innovative environment with engaged employees."—Betty-Ann Heggie, former Senior Vice President, Potash Corporation, and member of Canada's Top 100 Most Powerful Women Hall of Fame"No one has approached leadership conversations like this author. She gives her reader a clear path to progress. Don't just read and nod at the ideas here; put them to work immediately."—Beverly Kaye, founder of Career Systems International and best-selling coauthor of Love 'Em or Lose 'Em"This supremely practical book will guide you to help others move beyond their resistance. As you develop the confidence to embrace challenging interactions you'll liberate tremendous creative energy and become a more effective leader at work and at home."—Michael J. Gelb, bestselling author of How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci and Creativity on Demand"Dr. Reynolds helps us go beyond just 'getting through' difficult conversations. A master coach, she synthesizes the deepest wisdom from neuroscience and leadership to give us something really useful. This will be my new go-to guide for leaders."—Madeleine Homan Blanchard, cofounder of Coaching Services and CD2 Leadership, The Ken Blanchard Companies"Marcia Reynolds shows how the 'discomfort zone' provides the fast- est path for helping others fulfill their potential. Her brilliant book is a guide for leaders at all levels to make a real difference."—Jesse Lyn Stoner, coauthor of Full Steam Ahead!"Marcia Reynolds reveals the thought processes and techniques used by masterful coaches to engage others in transformational conversations. If you're looking to take your coaching capabilities to the next level, The Discomfort Zone will prove an insightful and invaluable guide." —Dianna Anderson, CEO, Cylient, and coauthor of Coaching That Counts"The Discomfort Zone provides solid practices for making challenging conversations a powerful tool for helping others learn, perform, and excel."—Chip R. Bell, coauthor of Managers as Mentors"It's crazy-making for leaders when they can't communicate with their people. They need to enter the discomfort zone where real connections take place, creating the possibility for breakthrough conversations."—Darelyn "DJ" Mitsch, President, Pyramid Resource Group, and author of Team Advantage and Zombies to Zealots

Long Description

Leaders, managers, and mentors are charged with getting people to stretch their limits, but they avoid doing it because of the potential for tension and conflict--and besides, they don't know if it'll result in any lasting change anyway. Top executive coach Marcia Reynolds here offers a technique that enables them to take their people through "the discomfort zone" with minimal pain and maximum gain. We can't see our own blind spots, so the role of the leader is crucial. Reynolds explains how to pick the right time and place to enter the discomfort zone and how to create a "safety bubble" so that people will trust your intentions. Then, drawing on discoveries in neuroscience about how people learn, she shows how to ask the kinds of questions that will short-circuit the brain's defensive mechanisms and habitual thought patterns and help the listener see clearly where they're falling short and how they can do better. She includes a plethora of actual examples from her coaching practice.Reynolds can't make the discomfort zone into a cake walk--leaders still need the courage to enter it. But she offers a path through it that will result in helping others to achieve lasting changes and enduring success.

Review Quote

"Reynolds provides brilliant, grounded, and pragmatic tools to elevate a coaching conversation to an opportunity for growth." --Kevin Cashman, Senior Partner, Korn Ferry, and author of the bestselling Leadership from the Inside Out and The Pause Principle

Promotional "Headline"

Leaders, coaches, and mentors are charged with helping others to stretch their limits. However, few people enjoy hearing the messy--and sometimes painful--feedback it takes to break through a personal obstacle. Marcia Reynolds shows that there is a right way to use the discomfort zone to help others grow, not suffer.

Description for Sales People

DYNAMIC AUTHOR: Marcia Reynolds is past global president of the International Coach Federation and is active in the National Speakers Association. She speaks to thousands each year and her Psychology Today blog gets thousands of hits each week.UNIVERSAL NEED: Managers know they need to give feedback but avoid it because it can be awkward and emotionally trying for employees. Mastering the techniques in this book will help managers overcome their own discomfort. NEW APPROACH: This isn't "straight talk" or "tough love" but a carefully designed technique, informed by neuroscience, to open people's eyes to their blind spots and disable the defense mechanisms that keep them from growing.

Details ISBN162656065X Author Marcia Reynolds Short Title DISCOMFORT ZONE Language English ISBN-10 162656065X ISBN-13 9781626560659 Media Book Format Paperback Year 2014 Imprint Berrett-Koehler Place of Publication San Francisco Country of Publication United States DEWEY 658.4092 Series BK Business (Paperback) Subtitle How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs Publication Date 2014-10-13 UK Release Date 2014-10-13 AU Release Date 2014-10-13 NZ Release Date 2014-10-13 US Release Date 2014-10-13 Pages 176 Publisher Berrett-Koehler Audience Professional & Vocational We've got this

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