The Healthy Mind Toolkit: Quit Sabotaging Your Success and Become Your Best Self

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"[The author] provides easy, practical solutions that will help you identify how you're holding yourself back and how to reverse your self-sabotaging behaviors. Blending scientific research with techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy, this ... book will take you through the steps to address this overarching problem"--Amazon.com.

FORMATPaperback LANGUAGEEnglish CONDITIONBrand New Publisher Description

Whether we're aware or not, most of us are perpetrators and victims of self-sabotage, a powerful pattern of negative behavior in which we act against our own best interests and then blame ourselves or others for these self-inflicted failures. Self-sabotage can manifest as seemingly innocuous things like not following through on New Year's resolutions or as harmful actions like blaming or abusing someone we love. If left unchecked, it can damage or destroy marriages, careers, friendships, families, and even lives.In STOP HOLDING YOURSELF BACK, Dr. Alice Boyes, author of The Anxiety Toolkit, tackles four key areas of our lives where self-defeating behaviors are most prevalent- our brains/mindsets, self-esteem, relationships and work/money. Blending the latest scientific findings with cutting-edge CBT techniques, Dr. Boyes lays out a practical plan to counter whatever fear, anxiety, guilt, or insecurity is causing you to self-sabotage, including-How to identify specific ways you're hurting your success (for ex, setting impossibly high standards, people-pleasing and comparing current relationships to past ones)Quizzes at each chapter start to rate your level of self-sabotage in the four areasSimple, highly effective steps to quit harmful behaviors and live a healthier, happier lifeCovering everything from rumination and envy to imposter syndrome, risk aversion, and over- or undervaluing things, STOP HOLDING YOURSELF BACK is the essential guide to get out of your own way and get on the path to success.An empowering guide to overcoming self-defeating behaviorsI can't believe I just did that!Why does this always happen to me?I really should stop myself from...Sound familiar? Whether we're aware of it or not, most of us are guilty of self-sabotage. These behaviors can manifest in seemingly innocuous ways, but if left unchecked can create stress and cause problems in all areas of your life.In The Healthy Mind Toolkit, Dr. Alice Boyes provides easy, practical solutions that will help you identify how you're holding yourself back and how to reverse your self-sabotaging behaviors. Blending scientific research with techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy, this engaging book will take you through the steps to address this overarching problem, including how to-.Identify the specific ways you're hurting your success in all aspects of your life.Capitalize on the positive aspects of your extreme traits instead of the negatives.Find creative solutions to curb your self-defeating patterns.Practice self-care as a problem-solving strategyFilled with quizzes and insightful exercises to personalize your journey from harmful behaviors to healthy habits, The Healthy Mind Toolkit is the essential guide to get out of your own way and get on the path to success.

Author Biography

Alice Boyes, PhD, is a former clinical psychologist turned writer and is the author of The Anxiety Toolkit. She is a popular blogger for Psychology Today, where her articles have more than ten million views, and she contributes to various magazines and blogs. Her research has been published by The American Psychological Association.

Review

"The Healthy Mind Toolkit is a phenomenal evidence-based guide for understanding how you're getting in the way of your own success and happiness, and then transforming those patterns of thinking and behavior one tiny change at a time.  It'll help you ruminate less, prioritize better, stay calm, and be less self-critical. This book is nurturing but not saccharine, and it's packed with practical strategies you can start using today."--Cy Wakeman, New York Times bestselling author of Reality-Based Leadership"The Healthy Mind Toolkit is one of the most enjoyable guides to self-understanding I've ever read. Boyes introduces us to parts of ourselves we might not know well, and shows us how to turn self-knowledge into positive change. If you feel stuck on old habits and pattens, this book will help you get unstuck/break free. Boyes has a knack for suggesting small changes that can have a major positive impact on our happiness, health, and relationships."--Kelly McGonigal, PhD, bestselling author of The Willpower Instinct and The Upside of Stress"A wide range of tools, tactics, and strategies have been unearthed from scientists on how to better understand and master our psychology. You will be amazed at how much of this work has been distilled into practical take-aways in this single book. Consider this an opportunity to have a wise council in your glove compartment at all times."--Dr. Todd B. Kashdan, professor of psychology, senior scientist at the Center for the Advancement of Well-Being at George Mason University, author of The Upside of Your Dark Side"I've read many self-improvement books and The Healthy Mind Toolkit is extraordinary. It's an outstanding roadmap for optimizing your thinking and behavior that's based on the most cutting-edge science.  The book is packed with easy, practical strategies that will help readers improve the quality of their lives and decision making."  --Guy Winch, Ph.D., author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts"Do yourself a favor and read this life-changing book! The Healthy Mind Toolkit shows us practical and simple ideas and hacks that anyone can implement across the different areas of their lives. Dr. Boyes explains numerous behavioral research-based concepts in layman's terms, as well as how to navigate them to live optimally. No matter where you are in life, there is something for everyone in this book."--Rachael O'Meara, Leadership Coach and author of Pause: Harnessing the Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself a Break

Promotional

From the author of The Anxiety Toolkit, an empowering guide to overcoming self-defeating behaviors, using cutting-edge clinical and cognitive-behavioral concepts and tools.

Review Quote

"Do yourself a favor and read this life-changing book! The Healthy Mind Toolkit shows us practical and simple ideas and hacks that anyone can implement across the different areas of their lives. Dr. Boyes explains numerous behavioral research-based concepts in layman's terms, as well as how to navigate them to live optimally. No matter where you are in life, there is something for everyone in this book." --Rachael O'Meara, Leadership Coach and author of Pause: Harnessing the Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself a Break

Promotional "Headline"

From the author of The Anxiety Toolkit , an empowering guide to overcoming self-defeating behaviors, using cutting-edge clinical and cognitive-behavioral concepts and tools.

Excerpt from Book

Chapter 1 How to Use This Book Welcome Have you ever experienced that feeling of exasperation when you realize you''ve created a problem for yourself? Maybe you stress yourself out over a request from your boss that turns out to be nothing, or you eat an entire family-size bag of popcorn because you didn''t plan ahead while at the grocery store, or you turn down an opportunity because you''re just not sure you can handle it. Whatever your situation, there''s a common theme-you''re getting in your own way. In The Healthy Mind Toolkit, you''ll discover the ways in which you''re holding yourself back and how to leave that behavior behind. I''ll help you escape from self-defeating traps so you can enjoy a clear, calm mind and more productivity, freedom, and resilience. Together, we''ll identify where you go wrong with your decision making. Then I''ll help you put together a personalized toolkit of the skills you''ll need for optimizing your thoughts and actions, which we''ll tailor to your nature, lifestyle, and preferences. The result will be that you''ll feel more relaxed, you''ll sense your life is on the right track, and you''ll have enough mental energy to withstand everyday stress and take on meaningful personal challenges. The book is divided into five sections: understanding yourself, foundation skills, correcting thinking errors, relationships psychology, and finally, work and money. In modern life, most of us don''t have any spare time or willpower for implementing ideas that are excessively complicated and exhausting. You need easy, practical solutions, which is exactly what you''ll learn here. We''ll work on both knowing what to do to achieve more of what you want and how to do what you know, so that you can successfully implement your insights and the book''s tools. Self-defeating behaviors are quite common, so you''re certainly not alone in having this problem. And while each person''s unique thought patterns and habits will be their own, there''s a lot of overlap across people too. I can personally relate to many of the problem patterns we''ll work through. In many cases, I''ve found simple solutions that work for me consistently. I''ve got strategies that prevent me from experiencing self-generated stress, or I can easily spot self-sabotage when I''m doing it and correct it on the fly. For example, I''m much better than I used to be at taking breaks, switching off my phone, prioritizing what I work on, seeing and implementing the simplest solutions to challenges, maintaining a balance between being cautious and carefree (preventing excessive worrying and ruminating), and not being penny wise but pound foolish. In some cases, I find my self-sabotaging actions are harder to consistently prevent. I tend to react to change and surprises with anxiety-driven defensiveness. For example, a friend recently suggested she coordinate her vacation with my family''s existing plans to visit a mutual friend of ours. My initial (internal) reaction was "Accommodating three sets of babies'' nap schedules is going to be such a pain." However, I know myself well enough to spot this negative thinking as my typical first reaction to virtually any proposed change of plans. Sure enough, within a few minutes of thinking it over I realized the positives of all three of us getting together would far outweigh any minor scheduling and planning issues. My knee-jerk hesitation quickly shifted to feeling really excited about seeing both friends. Likewise, if someone makes an unexpected request of me, I often overestimate what the person is asking me to do. It''s only later when I''ve stepped back and gotten perspective that whatever has been asked of me seems achievable and not a big deal (or even positive). When it comes to handling trickier requests (for example, being asked to do something I don''t want to do), an easy compromise or alternative solution frequently seems obvious once I''ve had time to digest and process what has been asked. Although I have good insight into my patterns in this area, I don''t always manage to hide my initial defensiveness at the time, and I sometimes need to go back and "clean up," apologize, or correct my attitude after the fact. Ideally, using what you''ll read here, you''ll discover strategies for preventing your self-sabotaging behaviors from occurring. Realistically, you''ll probably find yourself doing a mixture of prevention and treating the wound, as I do. You''ll permanently solve some problem habits, but a few will remain works in progress. I''ll help you learn how to respond constructively when these types of ongoing patterns occur, so you don''t go spiraling into harsh self-criticism and rumination or blaming others unfairly. That way you can limit (or even reverse) any negative impact of your tendencies on yourself and your relationships. Interestingly, many self-sabotaging patterns that look unrelated on the surface are actually two sides of the same coin. Here are some common examples. Can you relate to any of the following? You: Have too much chaos in your life, and not enough structure and routine. Stick too rigidly to self-imposed rules and routines. Give up too soon. Persist too much. Get excited and rush into action, without enough thought. Overthink and delay action because you never feel 100 percent sure. Have a thinking style that''s too optimistic. You focus mainly on the potential upside of actions and don''t pay enough attention to potential problems. Have a thinking style that''s too pessimistic. You shoot down good ideas, sweat the small stuff, and hold back from potentially wonderful opportunities. Fail to reflect on and learn from past mistakes. Ruminate about the past and are prone to feeling excessive guilt and shame. Have a "now" focus. You prioritize current wants at the expense of future well-being. Have a future focus. You deny yourself pleasure now in the hope of reaping rewards later. Take too little responsibility. You have a tendency to blame others. You underestimate your control over your life. You hand responsibility over to others. Take too much responsibility. You overestimate your control over events and other people. You resist delegating. Don''t assert your preferences. Tend to dictate that others fit in with your terms, schedule, and preferences. Have too little understanding of yourself and your nature. You do too little self-reflection. Have too rigid a view of your own nature. You do too much navel gazing. Tend to underestimate how hard or time-consuming tasks will be. Tend to overestimate how hard or time-consuming tasks will be and fear them unnecessarily. Underwork. Overwork. Don''t utilize small scraps of time effectively. Cram productive activity into any spare second, without giving yourself any true, guilt-free downtime. Think too big. Think too small. Don''t care what other people think or the impact you have on others. Ruminate about what other people think. Are prone to narcissism and overconfidence. Are prone to self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Are too trusting of others. Are distrusting and suspicious. You have a negative expectation of others. You avoid conflict. Never hold back from nagging or picking a fight. Believe rules don''t apply to you. Are too rule abiding. You don''t recognize that rules often have hidden flexibility or gray areas. Are too self-sacrificing. Are too self-centered and self-serving. As you can see from the examples, there are many, many different self-defeating processes (some related to each other, some not). Even very widespread patterns don''t manifest in exactly the same way for every individual. Rather than attempting to include every type of self-sabotage (which would fill a library rather than a single book), I''ll provide simple, actionable tips for how to tackle the most common self-defeating patterns and teach you the principles behind these suggestions so you can adapt them for your precise needs. The more you customize the material from the book to address your specific habits, the better you''ll understand it. And if anything you read here doesn''t gel for you, feel free to ignore it. I''ll give you plenty of options so you can choose what suits you best. By the end of the book, you''ll have a set of specific solutions to apply in your life and a general toolkit for understanding your problem tendencies and successfully working through them. The explanations and tips you''ll read here are based mainly on cognitive behavioral theories and research. The term cognitive behavioral sounds formal, but it just means tweaking both your thinking and your behavior to have maximum positive impact. The dual emphasis is important because changing your behavior tends to be one of the quickest and most effective ways to change your thinking. A healthy mind starts with healthy behaviors, which is why this book

Details ISBN0143130706 Author Alice Boyes Pages 240 Year 2018 ISBN-10 0143130706 ISBN-13 9780143130703 Format Paperback Subtitle Quit Sabotaging Your Success and Become Your Best Self Media Book Language English Publication Date 2018-05-01 UK Release Date 2018-05-01 Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States US Release Date 2018-05-01 Imprint Random House USA Inc Narrator Simon Russell Beale Illustrator Chad Thomas Translator Ted Goossen Birth 1927 Affiliation Lecturer, University of Fort Hare Position Professor Qualifications J.D. Publisher Random House USA Inc DEWEY 616.891425 Audience General NZ Release Date 2018-07-29 AU Release Date 2018-07-29 We've got this

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