The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate by Jeannie Gainsb

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The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate is an enjoyable, humorous, encouraging, easy to understand guidebook for being an ally to LGBTQ+ communities.

FORMATPaperback LANGUAGEEnglish CONDITIONBrand New Publisher Description

The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ Advocate, Second Edition, is an enjoyable, humorous, encouraging, easy to understand guidebook for being an ally to the LGBTQ+ communities. It is chock full of practical and useful tools for LGBTQ+ advocacy. This fully revised second edition includes:The most current information on identities and LGBTQ+ language;Tips for respectfully sharing, gathering, and using pronouns;LGBTQ+ etiquette, including common language bloopers to avoid;Tools for navigating difficult conversations;Best practices for creating LGBTQ+ inclusive spaces;Appropriate actions to take after messing up; andTechniques for self-care and sustainable allyship.This book will be useful for teachers, counselors, social workers, nurses, medical technicians and college professors, as well as the non-freaked out parent who wants to be supportive of their LGBTQ+ child, but doesn't know how. This is not a book about why to be an ally. This is a book about how to be an ally. The goal of The Savvy Ally is to build the reader's confidence in their ability to have respectful and useful conversations for and with LGBTQ+ individuals, and to offer tools to be effective advocates for change.

Author Biography

Jeannie Gainsburg is an award-winning educational trainer and consultant in the field of LGBTQ+ inclusion and effective allyship. Formerly the Education Director at the Out Alliance of Rochester, NY, she is the founder of Savvy Ally Action. She has personally facilitated or co-facilitated approximately 500 trainings and workshops in over 20 different states at corporations, colleges, government agencies, K-12 schools, and more. She is the recipient of the Empire State Pride Agenda's Community Champion Award (2015), the Rochester LGBTQ Community Appreciation Award (2019), and a New York State Assembly Distinguished Educational & Human Rights Services Citation (2019). Her writing has been published in Pride Magazine, Metro Justice Newsletter, (585) Magazine, and The Empty Closet, and is currently on several LGBTQ+ websites. Jeannie lives in Rochester, NY with her husband, Ed, and her cat, Carlos. Visit her website and download free ally goodies at

Table of Contents

Author's NotePreface1 - Getting StartedThank YouWhat You Can Expect from This BookDefining Ally BroadlyBringing My Friends Along for the RidePractice Makes Pretty Darn GoodThe Power of the AllyAllies Can Help Validate a CauseAllies Can Be a Cultural BridgeAllies Can Take the Heat Off of LGBTQ+ PeopleAllies Can Be Possibility ModelsAllies Can Get Special AccessWhat's Your Story?NotesPart I: Becoming Knowledgeable Allies2 - Caution: Identities Being Defined!CisgenderLGBTQ+QueerWhy Do There Have to Be So Many Identity Words?Note3 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+Why the Big Reveal?The Coming-Out ProcessIdentity ConfusionIdentity ComparisonIdentity ToleranceIdentity AcceptanceIdentity PrideIdentity SynthesisIn SummaryFrom Theory to RealityComing Out Is a Lifelong ProcessThe Process Is Not Always LinearIt's So Much Fun, Some Folks Do It Twice!It's Not Just for LGBTQ+ PeopleComing Out Is Not Always the Immediate GoalResponding When Someone Comes Out to YouA Better Metaphor for Coming OutWhat to SayWhat Not to SayFuture FantasiesNotes4 - Orientations, Identities, Behaviors—Oh My!A Basic Diagram of the Components of Sex, Gender, and SexualityBiological SexGender IdentityGender ExpressionAttraction (Also Known as Orientation)Intimate BehaviorsWhere Do I Fall?Biological SexGender IdentityGender ExpressionAttractionIntimate BehaviorsAn Advanced Diagram of the Components of Sex, Gender, and SexualityAnswers To Our QuestionsWhat the Heck Does Nonbinary Mean?Can Transgender People Also Be Gay?How Can I Tell If Someone Is Gay?How Can Someone Be Asexual but Still Have Sex?Key Ally TakeawaysNotesPart II: Building Skills for Having Respectful Conversations5 - Pronouns: Sharing, Gathering, and UsingWhy Are Pronouns So Important?SharingGatheringOne on OneIn a Small GroupIn Large NumbersUsingSingular TheyNeopronounsMore Than One PronounMessing Up ProperlyNotes6 - LGBTQ+ Etiquette Tips, Common Bloopers, and Outdated TermsLGBTQ+ Etiquette TipsTip #1: Ungender Your LanguageTip #2: Mirror TermsCombining Tip #1 and Tip #2Tip #3: Implement the "Switch It" TechniqueTip #4: Use the Correct Name and PronounTip #5: Focus on What You Need to KnowCommon LGBTQ+ Language Bloopers to AvoidGetting Creative with the Word TransgenderConfusing the Terms Transgender Man and Transgender WomanTalking About Preferred PronounsUsing the Word Preference Instead of OrientationUsing Language That Implies That Transitioning is CompletedFocusing on the PastAsking a Gay Couple Which One is the Man and Which One is the WomanOutdated Terms and Better Language ChoicesUse Transgender Instead of TranssexualUse Cross-Dresser Instead of TransvestiteUse Gay Instead of HomosexualUse Typical Instead of NormalUse Intersex Instead of HermaphroditeUse Different Sex or Gender Instead of Opposite Sex or GenderUse Are Instead of Identify AsAvoid These Terms AltogetherNotes7 - Gaydar and Other Problematic AssumptionsGaydarLGBTQ+ Myths and StereotypesMyths and Stereotypes About Straight/Cisgender AlliesIntersectionalityNotes8 - Good Talk: The Art of Having Useful ConversationsWe Are All Resistant LearnersTips for Having Respectful and Useful ConversationsPut Yourself in the Hot Seat (Prep Work)Set Your Listen/Share Dial to At Least 50/50 (Prep Work)Assume GoodwillAvoid Labeling the Comment or BehaviorUse "I" StatementsFind Common GroundEducate with Examples, Not DefinitionsTry the "Switch It" TechniqueListen for Those Myths and StereotypesBe Aware of Your Hot ButtonsA Night Out with Lou the Lunchroom AideAn Ally's GiftNotesPart III: Taking Action to Create More Inclusive Spaces9 - Straight Pride Parades and Special Snowflakes: Addressing Common QuestionsI Just Treat Everyone the Same; What's Wrong with That?Why Do LGBTQ+ People Have to Flaunt Their Sexuality and Get in My Face with It?The Falsely Accused FlaunterThe Temporary FlaunterThe Fulltime FlaunterI Know My Friend Is Gay—How Can I Get Him to Come Out to Me?Aren't We in a Good Place Now with LGBTQ+ Rights and Inclusion? What's Left to Do?Why Isn't There a Straight Pride Parade?Reality Check #1Reality Check #2Reality Check #3Reality Check #4Apparently, I'm Cisgender. How Can I Be Something That I've Never Heard Of? Do I Have to Go Around Telling People I'm Cisgender Now?1) How Can I Be Something That I Don't Even Know About and Why Does Someone Else Get to Define Me? (Confused/Irritated)2) Is This New Word Really "A Thing" Or Will It Be Gone Next Month? (Skeptical)3) Do I Have to Embrace This New Term? My List of Identity Terms Seems to Be Constantly Growing. Which Ones Do I Have to Share in Order to Be Respectful? (Overwhelmed)Why Are LGBTQ+ People So Angry?My Lesbian Friends Call Each Other Dykes. Why Is It Okay for Them to Do That But Not Me?I Thought People Were "Born That Way"; Now You're Telling Me That Being LGBTQ+ Can Be a Lifelong Journey of Changing Identities? WTF?I Feel Like I Can't Say Anything Anymore Without Offending Someone. Don't You Think We've Gone Too Far with All of This PC Language?Notes10 - Duct Tape Patch-up Jobs and Big FixesEducating OthersDuct Tape Patch-Up Jobs with Our Educational OpportunitiesBig Fixes with Our Educational OpportunitiesIncreasing LGBTQ+ VisibilityDuct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Increasing LGBTQ+ VisibilityBig Fixes for Increasing LGBTQ+ VisibilityRevising FormsDuct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Revising Forms and PaperworkBig Fixes for Revising Forms and PaperworkUpdating PoliciesDuct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Updating PoliciesBig Fixes for Updating PoliciesFixing Gendered FacilitiesDuct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Fixing Gendered Restrooms and Other FacilitiesBig Fixes for Fixing Gendered Restrooms and Other FacilitiesA Special Note about SignageNotes11 - Creating LGBTQ+ Inclusive Spaces in Different SettingsIn Your HomeIn Health and Mental Health SettingsCaring for LGBTQ+ People of ColorCaring for Transgender IndividualsCaring for Older LGBTQ+ AdultsIn the WorkplaceIn Faith CommunitiesIn SchoolsNotes12 - Taking It to the StreetsRallies, Marches, Protests, and LobbyingTalking with PoliticiansFundraisingPrideNotes13 - Now What? Questions from Allies in the Real WorldQuestions About Terms and IdentitiesQuestions from Family MembersQuestions from the WorkplaceQuestions from Teachers and School StaffNotesPart IV: Allying Responsibly14 - Messing Up ProperlyAccidentally Misgendering SomeoneOffer an Apology or a Thank YouForgive YourselfGet it Right the Next TimeTry Again Right AwayPractice in Your HeadWrite It DownAdd Pronouns to Your Phone ContactsPractice on Your PetImagine a MouseMaking an Offensive or Hurtful CommentOffer a Thank You and an ApologyForgive YourselfGet It Right the Next TimeDo Your HomeworkUse-it-or-Lose-itShare What You've Learned with Someone ElseRemind Yourself that Catching Yourself Is the First Step to SuccessBlundering AgainNotes15 - Backlash Against AlliesAlly Is a Practice, Not an IdentityShut Up and Listen"A" Is for AsexualKey Ally TakeawaysPay It ForwardNotes16 - SustainabilityTake Care of YourselfBe on Your Own TeamTreat Yourself the Way You Would Treat Your Best FriendGive Yourself Permission to FailUse Positive Self-Coaching TipsKeep a Joy JournalKnow Your Recipe for Wellness and Follow ItThink About What's Not WrongPace YourselfContinue Your EducationEvery So Often, Return to "Why?"NotesDiscussion GuideGlossaryBibliographyAcknowledgmentsIndexAbout the Author

Review

An ideal, practical, effective, and thoroughly 'user friendly' DIY instructional guide and manual, The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate is an especially and unreservedly recommended addition to family, personal, professional, community, college, and university library LGBTQ collections and supplemental curriculum studies lists.I love the compassionate sentiment that is weaved through this book that being an ally doesn't mean you have to be perfect; it means being able to acknowledge when a mistake is made and then trying your best to be better. If you truly want to be an ally, The Savvy Ally will lead the way through real-life examples, questions that make you go hmmm . . ., and 'what if' scenarios. Thank you, Jeannie Gainsburg, for supporting my ally journey!I was really hesitant to read a book written about the LGBTQ+ community by someone who does not identify as LGBTQ+. I read the first few pages with skepticism, ready to poke holes in the book. And... I have never been so happy to be proven wrong! Jeannie's book is filled with great information for anyone who wants to understand what it means to be an advocate for LGBTQ+ people and how to act as an ally. It's also educational for those within the community--I found myself saying 'Huh! I didn't know that!' multiple times as I was reading. I loved the book so much that we offered the book as a virtual book club at work during pride month this June. My colleagues had rich and meaningful discussion and we would highly recommend it!If you have LGBTQ+ friends, family, colleagues, service users, or are simply keen to be more knowledgeable about the subject of gender equity, The Savvy Ally is the best reference guide you are ever likely to read. Jeannie Gainsburg is a skilled and professional ally, as well as a tremendous author.If you want to support LGBTQ+ people but no one has ever taught you how, this is the book for you. Written in an accessible and entertaining style, The Savvy Ally is filled with useful scenarios, tips, and examples to help you transition from well-intentioned bystander to effective and informed advocate.If you're interested in being an effective ally to the LGBTQ+ communities then put this book on your required-reading list and learn from one of the best. Gainsburg's savviness, warmth, sensitivity, and humor emanate from every page. You're going to love this book.In her book, The Savvy Ally, Jeannie Gainsburg informs and empowers readers to consider how they might be more open and engaging toward those who might be different. It is a resource I have recommended many times.Jeannie Gainsburg has written a brilliant guide to what we all need to know and do to be better allies for LGBTQ+ people in all aspects of our lives. It's a treasure trove of practical ideas, sprinkled with the perfect amount of humor. Once in a while, a book comes along that resonates with my heart & my life's passion/mission. This is The Savvy Ally bookby Jeannie Gainsburg. It contains all the relevant aspects and more on how to be an ALLY, excuse me, a SAVVY ALLY as Jeannie's badass humor and personality came through the reading for me. I love it so much!The Savvy Ally is a book I will recommend again and again for its thoughtful approach to gaining knowledge, skill, and confidence. It's a much-needed tool in our box!The Savvy Ally is a read for everyone. It is one of the best tutorials I've read that offers key insights into LGBTQ communities while offering practical guidance and action-oriented tips that will help allies become more culturally competent, respectful, and impactful in their interactions, both personally and in business.The Savvy Ally provides a successful foray into the confusing and ever-changing world of being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. The thoughtful definitions, various analogies, and personal examples used to clarify issues are always helpful and often brilliant. Clearly, Gainsburg's many years of 'operating in solidarity with' the LGBTQ+ community have provided her with the necessary insight to create such a useful tool. I am grateful for such a perceptive and kindhearted book!This book is long overdue, and I loved reading it! It is a call to action in a positive, optimistic, and engaging way--a masterful blend of information, personal stories, humor, and serious content. This is much more than just an informative book. It is designed to build skills that can be translated into ongoing, meaningful action. If you want to be an effective LBGTQ+ ally, buy this book. It won't just sit on your shelf. You'll use it every day!This is a beautiful book. A necessary book. An unputdownable book. Please read this book.This is it. You found it--the very best guide on how not to make mistakes with LGBTQ+ employees, customers, students, congregants, patients, and family members. If you want to be an effective ally for LGBTQ+ people, buy and read The Savvy Ally. I very enthusiastically endorse this bookThis is such an amazing book about how someone who is not part of the LGBTQ+ community can be a helpful advocate to those who are... I highly recommend this book to everyone.

Details ISBN153816924X Author Jeannie Gainsburg Short Title The Savvy Ally Language English Year 2023 Edition 2nd ISBN-10 153816924X ISBN-13 9781538169247 Format Paperback Subtitle A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate DEWEY 306.76 Publisher Rowman & Littlefield Imprint Rowman & Littlefield Place of Publication Lanham, MD Country of Publication United States Illustrations Text Boxes; Illustrations, unspecified; Tables; Halftones, Black & White including Black & White Photographs; Black & White Illustrations Pages 286 NZ Release Date 2023-03-31 UK Release Date 2023-03-31 Edition Description Second Edition Audience General AU Release Date 2023-04-14 Publication Date 2023-03-15 US Release Date 2023-03-15 We've got this

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